Common Questions About Counseling
Everyone can benefit from seeing a therapist, counselor, social worker, psychologist, or life coach. It is a chance to work on yourself to develop a happier and healthier version. Yet, it can be a little intimidating for some people if they have never worked with a counselor or consultant before. Rest assured, it's not a bad thing. Like exercise, good nutrition, and proper sleep putting in the effort can pay off big in the long run.
So to help you in the process, here are answers to a few common questions.
What if I feel awkward and don't know what to say? This is common when someone enters counseling for the first time. Like everything new, it can be uncomfortable at first.
Counselors will not be surprised by this. Take your time, take a deep breath, and know your counselor is there to help.
What is the counselor going to ask me? The counseling process is unique in each situation, but here are a few commonly asked questions.
You will be asked to identify the struggles you are having. You do not need to fully understand the issues or know everything about the problem. You learn more about the problem through the counseling process. Give your best and most complete answer, and begin working from there.
Your counselor will seek to understand your thoughts and feelings related to your struggles. Be honest about your reactions and share whatever feelings you are having. There are no right or wrong answers here.
Stress tends to affect us physically, mentally, and emotionally. Your counselor may ask about your health, sleep patterns, eating habits, alcohol use, and other health questions. There is no shame here. If you are using alcohol to cope, say so. If you consume sugar all day and barely sleep, be honest about that. Your counselor isn't there to judge but to get a clear idea of how your issues are affecting you overall.
To begin addressing the issue, it will be important to understand what you have tried so far. Discuss all your reactions and whether they made the situation better or worse.
How long will counseling take? There is no one answer to this because every situation is unique. Yet, it will normally take more than one session. Therapy is not a quick fix. Counselors don't give simplistic answers and snap judgments. Counseling is not an advice column. It is a process of learning and healing. That can take some time, but it works much better than quick-hit advice.
For some issues, two or three sessions could be enough. However, it is common to spend several weeks or months in counseling. The more traumatic the issue, the longer the process tends to be.
You would expect to work with your medical doctor for several weeks or longer if you had a substantial physical injury. The same is true for significant emotional trauma.
Is everything I say confidential? There are some issues your counselor is legally obligated to report. This can vary depending on the state where you live. Your counselor will make these issues clear to you. It is not a game of gotcha. Some examples of issues your therapist will report are homicide, suicide, child or elder abuse, and major property damage. Again, your counselor will explain all these to you, and if you are not clear on the rules of confidentiality, ask.
However, outside of these matters of legal obligation, your counselor will keep all your discussions private. It is a safe place to share everything that is happening.
What if I don't like my counselor? There are two answers here.
One answer is to find a new counselor. If you go to a medical doctor and find them rude, you would likely seek out a new doctor. If your mechanic does a poor job on your car, you find a new mechanic. Counseling and consultation is a profession, and like any other profession, there are some practitioners you will click with more than others. Trying different counselors until you find the right one for you is perfectly acceptable.
The second answer is to be honest about why you dislike the counselor. Sometimes a counselor may need to address some tough issues. Counseling isn't always comfortable. Don't drop out of counseling and start the process over whenever you feel challenged or have to face a challenging topic. Jumping from one counselor to another can be a way of avoiding the problem. If you find yourself dealing with tough emotions or facing uncomfortable issues, that is part of the healing process. Be honest with your counselor. Tell them your feelings and work through those emotions.
Can I ask my counselor questions? Yes. You can ask whatever you feel the need to ask. However, your therapist has the right not to answer. Some questions may be too personal or outside the therapeutic process. Remember, this is a professional relationship. Show your counselor that professional respect and avoid asking things that are inappropriate. Yet, it's O.K. to make mistakes. If you're unsure, ask and let your therapist choose what is appropriate to answer.
What will counseling do for me? Counseling can have a wide variety of effects. Generally, counseling will help in the following areas
Communication skills
Interpersonal skills
Understanding your inner dialogue
Treating yourself well
Healing past traumas
Understanding your family dynamics
Improving your overall health practices
Healthy expression of emotions
Avoiding self-defeating language and behaviors
Learning to set healthy boundaries
Breaking harmful habits
Improving self-esteem
Learning to evaluate options and set strategies
This is not a complete list but are some common benefits for those who receive counseling.
What if I need marriage or family counseling, but my spouse or family won't go? In this case, go to counseling alone. You cannot change other people, but how you function within those relationships will have an effect. It is also important to deal with the stress of dysfunctional relationships, identify abuse issues, and develop strategies. Counseling can still benefit you even if you are not the cause of the problem.
When seeking counseling, having all these questions and more is natural. The best answer is to find a counselor your trust and be open about your questions. Your counselor will gladly answer if you want to know anything about the counseling process.